2010

Here i come again,
2010 is here my friends,
unbelievable how 2009 came and went,so fast like always but this time there was something else to my theory,i always say that time flies and so do we,
always doing new things flying from end of the city back to home from a daily routine,
2010 came and i was very happy to the fact that a new year means a new pattern,a new theme,many new news,many new events and many new people to meet,
my birthday is one event which i adore,it falls in the first month of the year,January..
this year i turned 17,a age making me go near to a new phase of life and responsiblities..
i call this age an age of thought and go..
why?
its an age where u need to think and then make a go or else one can be ready for ups and downs..
coming back to my topic,
2010 has started and what a start..
everywhere there is something new being planned,made and decided..
futures of countries,economies,societies and people are being made by everyone,
so i asked myself what role are these things playing on me?
am i prepared?
yes i am..
of course i am..
cause afterall its now that life has just began,taking a new turn and giving me hints and clues of what to say,do and think about..
i ask u,are u prepared too?

childhood

the fragrance in those letters i kept in those diaries under my cupboard so that no one could see my feelings and neither would anyone understand them,they were those feelings and dreams i wished for at my window on rainy days and dark blue nights,

my childhood is a big question and a non-stop trail,a journey,a big clock a whole lot of systems running in me,

my childhood is in those doll houses i made,in those puzzle books i matched,in those pebbles i collected and lost them the next day,in those playgrounds i played on early afternoon and got wet on slides when it rained,in those little little excitements which thrilled me each surprise moment,its in those mistakes i made and got scolded,its in those sleepless nights when i wished for someone to tell me a story for a lifetime,its in those delicious dishes my mother made and i licked it plain,its in those fights i had in which i cried and could not defend myself,its in those sunday mornings when i went grocery with my father with my little toy trolley,its in those homework i did,in those drawings i made,its in those clothes i wore and made them my life,its in those cushions i cudled while watching my favourite cartoon on cartoon network,its in those falls i had when i wounded myself and was sad for my body to have gotten hurt and for the blood which flew oozingingly,its in those hugs and kisses my grandmother and grandfather gave me when payed a visit,its in those bags which i bought with me to the shopping mall,its in those desires i had which never got fulfilled,its in those questions i asked and wondered all day,its in those games i played during the holidays and won alone and cheered for my scores,its in those trips to the zoo where i saw animals and wished to have fed them,its in those books i read and read and found a new story each time,its in those talks i had with god when everyone slept and prayed for a better morning and a more easy one,its in those hot baths i had early mornings,its in those swimming pools i played and wished to stay in water forever,its in those droppings on my clothes when i went to restaurant and didnt eat properly,its in those breaths i had when i was ill and felt happy being at home all day,its in everything..
my childhood is boat and its still waiting to sail..

visit to secrets

Secrets are one treasure-like sayings which make us either to conceal or too secretive.

they are roads to curiosity,u want to either know them or either keep them till the last day..

but they are very important in our minds and souls,

they somehow teach us the correct meaning of mistakes and deeds,

some teach us the patience of situations,

some teach us the change of view of someone or the other,

and some are there with us throughout,

sometimes we know the truth but we are bound to keep quite and not let it out,some truths are there just for destructions of unity and well-being..

each of us whether young or old have soo much hidden inside us,

little little secrets and the big big ones as well,

we realise that one day we have to let all out and if we have to then why do we keep them for such long durations?who are we hidding it from?

its a human mind afterall,cant argue with its temperments,

they are at times impossible and at times digestable..

secrets are like medicines,they can either cure u or either destroy u,

when we keep lots of things inside us we tend to bend to pain and insecurity,

these hidden treasures are not always as valuable as they seem to be,they arent so great that we have to give its hard glow on our lives,

we have to throw them into the sea and forget about them,cause some treasures are not ours,actually no ones..

She turns ten,my little princess..

She is now a big girl,
finally ten years old on the 8th of september,
what a journey so far,i still remember that little pink blossom in my arms sleeping peacefully..
and today a big girl she is,tall and beautiful forever..
time has changed,so strong and modest she has become with so much of confidence and knowledge and she is fearless of the coming up challenges,good job i think in my mind,
this is our youth,the one who will rise and bring us fruits of creativity and freshness..
she has kept me in the thought of her small little hands now becoming in shape and she a lady,
i miss those childhood days when i use to admire her all day long,her johnson baby lotion and her fragrant smell,my god what a child she was,
may god give her all the happiness in the world,with all the strength and power to make her duties right and always stay small and adorable,
i dont want her to grow up too fast..
love u my angel..

A Bath Through The Rays

How beautiful it is to see the rays passing through u,on the rays i see my life focus like a projector running picture after picture,

i drove pass the bay of rays one afternoon and then i realised i saw a reflection i was waiting for,

have u ever seen the rays and felt like u have had a bath or they went pass through u making u feel like an open book?must have i believe cause i have felt it,

an afternoon after heavy rain,when the sun comes out for its welcome is when u realise the warmth in the air,till before u were enjoying those cool breeze and the chills through ur nose,the moody mood for a nap and some hot snacks comes to an end when he comes with its soldiers,the rays..

i felt like some part of my body feels light and recalled,

i closed my eyes and heard my heartbeats and felt as though the feelings in me are valueless to the phase i am going through,my eyes streched all along and when i lost sight i hummed the sound of light and its beauty so new that for once i forgot myself and lived a moment of shine.

i understand the importance of nature as i want to serve what i wish to,

as our days pass,nature shows its colours and none of us can go against it,bow down and accept either its good or bad,

so does it allow us to stop the happiness of someone's gift if we cant get it?

its a sin if we do so,our views are there and will be ours forever but someone's gift's right is never ours and we can never take it for them even it is not suitable for us,

its theirs and they one day or the other had to achieve it so they have now our senses tell us not to allow them to let them take it we start our charts of comments,i have realised that each of us and everyone of us has some dreams and wishes,some of these wishes are granted and some take time to be granted..

but all will be afterall,one day...

Jolly for Life

The year is coming to an end soon,singapore's national day together with india and pakistan's independence days are coming up this august,looking back,a history of freedom has been granted to nations and all free for their lives and we celebrate it by being a part of it,respect and relief it gives to the citizens of that country or nation and proud u feel for have served in some way or the other.Staying in a country for over a long time gives us a whole book of experiences and tasks,so much happens,comes and goes and we play with it like puppets.Afterall thats what makes u a human of right and wrong,if u dont see the world from the nearest eyes then a wider picture shall swallow u one day..
Many occasions have passed by and i have grasped quite lot of it,being a silent observer it gives me great pleasure to hear,respond and sense the clues around me hidden in words,stories,tears and laughter.
I feel like a magnet without magnetism,but full of force and gravity,so much of absorption and less of reduction,the right usage of my world is my sharp eyes which not only take also give a lend.
We go around seeing the new part of the story and trying to make some practical conclusions out of it but how successful we get depends of the reasons we give ourselves,many times when we sit in a group of chats we try to argue with some facts of the others which might not be suitable for us but gives the others happiness,so shall be for once make a shallow heart and compromise or shall we be like others strong and stubborn,cause if its not my cup of tea so wont be urs,
thats rude i believe,though i have a fixed view i believe that give ur opinion first as a relative and then as a friend,only then will u and the person make a correct movement out of that topic,sometimes situations are such that being practical is like being nonsencical,afterall u have to think from the heart and mind not only from one component,
I hear new accounts in the walk,
so much of extra information that now i am getting aware of the future state and conditions,
looks like the year ahead shall bring some gloomy fireworks..

Jungle of Tears

A Jungle,

so big,so wide,so long and unlasting,

u can forever run ahead and never turn back to come home cause its a place where u loose ur distance and get lost.

Its the same for tears,

We can caught in them and never realize how deeply lost we get in them and their flow,

so salty and wet they are just like a jungle early in the morning..

How do we get caught in them without a reason>not possible,there has to be some heavy thud behind the net..

So unbearable it gets when we are confused,engaged,caught and there is no way out.

a trap is circularly rounded around our lives and we cant get out of it till there's no miracle.

A pal inside me always says that when there is no miracle,there is a source above it and its a dark roomed sunshine.

where is comes from is from the evil inside the mind,hidden somewhere there..

it always speaks when we dont want it to and its because of the burning voices which trap us in pain so deeply that we get caught in the jungle of tears without even realizing its inhale,and we cant exhale as its too late,something similar to a smoking puff once it touches ur lips u just cant resist its existance.

the same for them,they just flow and flow and stop only when u want them to...