Madness

Your my incomplete thirst the one who walks with me,if u agree on my life then my life shall be fulled of pearls,

in which i see u,

i walk in darkness and find myself to the end not lost and neither confused i can see every particle of black and dont fear of them,they reach out to me touching me with their outer shells invisible yet visible,my heartbeat is slow and i can feel my flesh fresh alert..

i am far and fast,

i play the piano in anxiety,

i play to pursue,

i play the notes unwritten,

untouched,

unheard,

i play the sound of my soul,

i lit up the candles around me all around,

i scatter the roses,

i smell the fragrance and dance to the tune in the air,

its bright its burning its true,

i know i am alive,

i always be here,

in my world,

every moment,each time,

i am around,

life has become a season of rain,

i cant believe my destiny,

the rhythem cant break,

i feel the drops of water on my skin,

i am wet yet dried,

its like a valley falling down the mountains with its showers rising,

till today i have always thought that the mand builder had no time,

but when did he make u,

my madness....

what if,

WHAT IF,
thats the question i have been thinking about all the while and god knows when the answer shall be answered,
when friendship is bonded the view of ur enemies should be consulted..
how true is this thought,u get to knnow the past and present of them..
A mosque is made for prayers,but why dont we find god at home first?
there shouldnt be a time when ur chest has to be burned cause there is too much burden and tears absorbed..
if i have to make u understand then why cant u make me smile when i am unhappy?
the eyes seemed to be crying alot,just for once put kajal and show me the beauty again,
just for me,says the mirror in pain..
i am very fearful of loneliness,
where are u my dreams and thoughts?
i cant find u..
where are u?
i am lost,there is no track no road..
i am very upset with u,
sometimes put me in confusion..
for once put me in confusion..
what if i have to burn my soul once again...
put some shadow on my tears..

How can someone tell how much one is in pain..

I sometimes smile in curiosity when someone can tell how much the other one is in pain cause its not natural to,unless u knoe that person deeply..
u can say it as a traumatic bond or a bond of formality but it just happens..
its so difficult to tell how lonely one is when someone whom was urs becomes someone elses,if this is the world then why is the world like this?and if this happens why does it?
if u grab the hand ur soul gets attach will the heartbeat can be felt..
and then the saddness is shared equally..
why does someone break the thread of hope?
doesnt the pain stay for all the centuries..
people say that the bond of love is the bond of years..
life is book of questions and answers left to be asked and each question is important but when its not solved its a blank page..
a page of left memories and a blank not filled..
but the angels on our right and left hands fill in the blanks suspiciously and a page is completed..
a writer writes to express,a painter paints and a singer sings and this is how we live with our feelings..

mix AND match~

2008 is running now no more time left for the year to end and the new year to be celebrated,
what a bad way to end the year with the bombings in bombay and so much of shatterness..
not fair,why must all this happen?
why cant everything be fine?
i cant see the pain being burnt in ashes just for the satisfaction of some heartless people living in this world..
i was also born in the land of india,where culture arises and people have values iin their blood but when people destroy this goodness,it just hurts..
i saw the news,the papers,all gave me the ultimate end..
i just pray all gets well and all those who lost their loved ones shall have the patience to endure the pain and may those victims get heaven in return of their lives...
so we end the year with dreams lost and some hopes risen too..

thousands miles of hardship~

A road to success is what we all work for day and night making ends meet and so much of dedication no matter where life brings one,no matter what circumstances are but the road is never forgotten and is where we want to stand fit and fine..

but its tough i believe after many years lived i have realise that the road has so many arrows and stones that my car trembles but my mother once said,where ur car trembles start it again from the same place cause where u fall is where u find success and somehow i am doing the same way,i start my journey where i fell the pain and marks are still aching but i still have faith cause the road ends at happiness and saddness is just the piece of toleration one can feel and sacrifice so why not me afterall we are humans and god has blessed us with the power of overcoming fears and anxieties so why not me?

i cant offend the holy one he has given me the knowledge then why not use it when needed,i believe that children are closer to god..

whenever i look up i can feel the angels looking at me telling me that hey girl smile please!!

i feel the peace in me like someone has thrown roses on my face and the smell spreads deep into the air and touches the beats of my heart..its just a moment of heaven..

i can feel the walls of my heart pounding loudly when i dont see the sky for a day and my blood just freezes..

i wonder if god is listening to me and i pray that my morning feels like a calm ocean and just touches the heights of his kingdom!!

"O GOD IF YOUR THERE HIGH HIGH UP,GIVING ME A SIGHT I WANT THE WORLD TO BE A BETTER PLACE AND MAY THE DAY AHEAD BRING HAPPINESS IN EVERYONES LIFE SO THAT EACH SMILE BRING ME HOPE"THANKS ALOOT...

so all of my readers remember that life is short and if ur reading pls smile cause ur smile is very important for me..

=)

Yellow moon*

This is one month of the year which realli awaits me..

the mid november and the november rain is so beautiful,one strange season which keeps my desires and love wet..

the cool breeze in the night,a drop of tear and a handful of past makes me think through the night like a mad person the questions are why?what?who?whom?how?because?

simple words but difficult answers..

in the journey of life,once the steps are crossed they never come back never..

no matter how much u want them back they are impossible to come..

flowers bloom,people meet and then flowers dies,people seperate despite spring calling nature back but once gone is gone..

a sight can be wrong and right..

but all this is life i guess cause faith only comes when we want it to..

falling down and standing upright again is call winning..

like the yellow moon tonight,i was in my car driving through the streets of a rushed hourly city and then i caught sight of the yellow moon,so big,and so gorgeous..

it reminded me of my childhood nights of thought..

time flies so fast that 9 years went..

without realising whom and who i met on this journey..

once day,night,evening and afternooons go by they just dont turn back and look at u..

the moon is very smart it just controls ur eyes and u soon become the puppet..

how strange is this pattern of a lifetime...

A soap of fragrance..

A day gone,a new morning arrived and a new page turned,each day we have a new thought with a goal and alittle need of salt and pepper and then does it end with good day or bad day..
my day was good watching a movie,having lunch and a pinch of laughter..
total fun!!
its 1 am and i feel real energetic after a hetic and tiring day of walking hear and there,
but still satisfied,
the weather have been so wet today just raining all the way and still we were still feeling heaty,godness it was terrible..
i felt so good like a fragrance of soap u buy of strawberry flavour and its smell just fills the air somewhat like that..
a cup of coffee is the right thing now so gotta make one and continue the night with reading my storybook left,the book is on an interesting turn now and so i am getting involved cant wait for the next chapter to come and tell me the twist of it..
so i better be going now..

make me a part of my own destiny lines..

A post,

A letter,

A poetry,

A piece of white paper on which i see my destiny clear,

A quote of honour,

these are a few things i need to be alive for..

everyday life is a reality in which i find answers so that i breathe for wisdom and thus i have faculty extreme one thats why i call myself an aquarian..

these days life has been passing like nigara falls fast and furious..

have been working on some major issues of life and burning the candles through the night in hope of hopes to come true i hope my ambition will have its way..

surrounded with pens,books,papers and a flow of air i study the night..

i hope whatever i am doing is right,

i want my fixed position soon..

elections are over and mr obama has won,so the world is changing for the better and good and somehow i feel this man has the power and my intuition speaks the truth..

i hope i see freedom and good politics..

2008 is ending with a bitter note from my side,i somewhat learned so much this year and the next few years will go smooth and perfect..

in this few years i asked myself the meaning of faithfulness,my craziness will kill me soon i guess..

its meaning is so strong that one can shiver without a thought..

i feel like i will share myself with my soul unless my heart returns me back myself..

god i feel so strange,this moment i have no emotions and no feelings,why??

no answer,the silence continues..

till the morning comes i shall keep my word..

Right time has come,i am all ready!!!

The right time has come by,when the plot is ready,the characters are there and the emotions are live!!

i am very happy to get things in place even when we say crisis is in town,i dont invite him for lunch..

i celebrate satisfaction of what is right and not what is unexpected,

there is always a rule in life,when happiness comes by just grab it and not think what if sorrows was on its way..

and yes thats how we have to live with hope that one day everything will become ok,

so i have gotten my task completed i am now fully loaded with words..

thanks to the creator that he has made up my mind and given me the strenght to take this thrilling step with no doubts no confusion only passion!!

so as i have started a new journey i follow my favourite phrase"a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step",indeed it does..

i hope all goes well,

hmm right now i am bright awake in the dark wet night its raining and the breeze serves a coffee,so i am in total mood for some relaxing ideas maybe a swim early morning wil do,i better get going have to make myself a cup of coffee and then read alittle..till then a quote for all,

Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare..

shadows of a confusion

Each time i wake up,the morning looks so bright,so passionate and like always the hope arises of a fresh start,a new day and a meaningful deed and a mindset is made which helps in living a day more..
i step out of my house,full of energy and a radiant glow for a walk around the city of hopes,culture and a land of which i live.
deep down my soul is confused but my steps dont hesitate they move ahead,they move for the goal for which my heartbeat is assigned for whom i am breathing and for why i work hard.its strange how someone can be so fixed,so alruistic but this is me and i am a true humanitarian.
i believe in idealism and thats why i am happy..
the shadows of confusion always haunt me and i become their friend,drowing myself in thier souls and then knowing what i want.
its scary and its horrifying but i am not afraid of reality.
there are thousands of desires and on each desire there is a wish,i want to fulfill them i want them to be mine so that i can give others as well.
its like that dark night which comes and shatters one but i am that sun who still arises the next morning and shines so that,that shattered glass can get back into pieces and shine like it always did.
i know that life is a puzzle and i am also caught at times but today i am confident that whenever we are messed or confused its the world that makes us weak,makes us paralysed,makes us feel so terrible that our morale just goes down and then we loose hope,but is that fair?
No its not.cause once we fall if we dont get up we will fail.
failure is not want we want we want success and happiness..
so to all my friends,
if there is any confusion,any dilemma,anything hurting just keep ur morale high and keep smiling cause there are many people in this world who want u to be happy and want u to have all the treats...
all the best in life =)

The festive season

So here comes the season of festivals, deepavali and eid..

EID MUBARAK TO ALL MY MUSLIMS FRIENDS..
ramzaan got finally over,and eid came on the 1st of october,what a start of a new month..
so holy and fruithful..
five days have passed by but still i am in the festive mood totally excited and thrilled..
its been many years of celebrating eid but this year eid was totally different totally unexcpected..
i love to see people smiling,laughing,enjoying it gives me a self-satisfaction i cant realli explain cause the feeling is worth a million bucks..
no matter how sad,upset,angry,frustrated or any other disturbing feeling i have i will never let its shadow fall on my face cause when this happens i become sympatic and thats not my rule my rule is make them smile..
going with the flow i went for a dandiya night for the first time and trust me it was great fun,so colourful and people were so enthusiastic my god just by looking at them my energy level rose..
i danced like a mad woman but for the certain hours i felt that i was living to the fullest..
an atmosphere was set and i was just part of it..
a pretty new experience and i hope to go there next year as well and this time full prepared..
atleast i know how to play dandiya properly now..
hmm the year is going to end and 2008 gone..
time is flying so fast,
this year so many events took place that i had no time to realise some important issues but finally i have taken hold on them..
many people say that silence speaks alot and yes it does cause whenever one is silent its pain speaks the story on its own,i have noticed it many time sitting on a coffee table or going to the shore and seeing the eyes of that lonely boy throwing stones in the water just silent..
water had always fasinated me and i always loved the sound of the waves pushing their way to the shore and back..
whenever i look at the sea,my sadness and pain just vanishes away although it leaves a wet feelign but soon drys..
life is game of happiness and sorrows and the empire is god..

The recipe of my day..

INGREDIENTS:

1 CUP FRESH SQUEEZED JUICE IN THE MORNING

3 DEEP BREATHS,FRESH AIR

1 EYEFUL SUNSHINE

5 MINUTES EXERCISE,STIRRED

1 MASSAGE,KNEADED

1 LARGE BATH OR SWIM,DIPPED

1 SCOOP GRATITUDE,PLAIN

1 SLICE FUNNY STORY,TO TASTE

1 RAW GOOD DEED DAILY

1 BLESSING BEFORE MEALS

1 TSP MEDITATION

1 PINCH PRAYER

1 DOSE FREEDOM FOR ALL LIVING THINGS,SPREAD

1 CONCENTRATED VISUALIZATION OF YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

EACH DAY I BELIEVE IN THIS RECIPE AND THIS IS WHY I STAY PASSIONATE AND HAPPY...

ONCE AGAIN..

EVERYTIME I WALK ON THE STREETS I FEEL THE AIR POLLUTED WITH SO MUCH OF POPULATION AND SO MUCH UNHAPPY AND UNSAID MOMENTS..
ITS BAD RIGHT NOW THE WORLD IS GOING IN THE BAD STATE,THE STOCK MARKETS,THE ELECTIONS,THE BOMBIMGS,THE PAIN,THE HIGH COST OF LIVING,PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS!!!!
WOHHH..
I ASK MYSELF I AM PART OF THE WORLD SO WHATS MY CONTRIBUTION?
AM I PLAYING MY PART?
AM I HELPING?
AM I UPSET ABOUT ALL THESE PROBLEMS?
WHATS THE MAIN REASON?
ALL THESE QUESTION MAKE ME THINK ALL DAY..
THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO MAY BE SHARING THE SAME VIEW WITH ME AND WE ALL ARE CONFUSED.
SO WHAT SHALL WE DO?
HOW DO WE MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE WHICH IT IS BUT IS NOT SO WHATS THE MAIN REASON?
WHOSE FAULT IS IT?
A WISE MAN ONCE SAID ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO REALISE THE MISTAKE BUT THE MISTAKE IS TO REALISE AND NOT DO ANYTHING..
SO I DONT WANT TO MAKE A MISTAKE AND THEN FACE GOD WITH A HEAVY HEART I WANT TO HELP EVERYONE..
LETS THINK...
IT MAY TAKE ME MONTHS,DAYS,YEARS,HOURS,SECONDS BUT I HAVE FAITH THAT EVERYTHING WILL BECOME FINE AND PLEASENT CAUSE IF GOD IS READING AND LISTENING HE KNOWS THE PAIN AND THE PROBLEMS AND THE DILEMMAS..
AH LETS HOPE FOR THE BEST..
THE WEEKEND IS HERE WITH LOTS OF NEWS AND CHANGES..
I AM JUST LOOKING FORWARD FOR SOME PEACE..

the happiness unsaid..

Its almost 2 weeks of the fasting month and just another 2 more to go so this shows that the time is just running like water.i am generally sad cause in this 2 weeks i just felt so happy and still am cause this holy month seems to be bringing lots of happiness in my life.from the starting of the january,each day when i looked in the sky i felt like the year was going to run and i wont be able to catch it but i did cause everything possible.its like each morning when u see the sun its burning more and more and u feel its heat down ur throat.godness its becoming humid..
i like rains cause they give u a wet touch and thats the most unsaid moment.
i feel so delighted when i see the raindrops falling fast on the earth its like god so over the moon.i become a poet even without experience..
heading for the weekend now i am hoping for some thrill..

FINALLY RAMZAN HAS COME..

finally ramzaan is here..
so ramzaan mubarak to all my friends..
wish u have a great year ahead and may this holy month bring lots of happiness in our lives..
may allah always be with us..
each year when this holy month arrives i pray for one thing,"o allah if your listening make me bow to you each hour so that this 30 days can wash all my sins away and its only you who can make me guilty."i believe that ramzaan and other days have one major difference and that is that in this 30 days we sleep less,eat less,work less but pray more.
i am not a perfect man,but i ask for the shadow of goodness and the fruit of sorrows.
may allah give me the strength to do as much good as i can then the bad.
and may this 30 days change my life.
around the world today many people are sorry are realli sorry for all the bads and wrongs they have done and like all everyone is now ready for some responsibility of fasting and thanking allah that he is one and that we thank him for the bread and butter he gives us,for the air and water he provides us and for the shelter he makes for us.
i ask him to vanish all the cruelty and destroy the poverty..
i hope to fast as much as i can..
lets hope for the best..
its finally september and wow 8 months have passed and i havent realli got a chance to take a deep breathe thats fast man the earth is rotating realli fast..
in this 8 months my life has changed drastically..
this year has been a real quick one and its almost going to end with i hope some spice maybe another overseas trip or mugging up..
i had just recently made a trip to india like 3 weeks ago and my god i had a wonderful time..
lots of thrill and lots of new people to meet..
i guess everyone in this world is special and realli special..
i felt like a movie was being shoot and i was telecast its strange but yes it felt that way..
i went for a morning movie with a close friend,she's realli nice someone very hip and someone whom u can talk to for hours and hours but wont get bored,pretty and smart and yes of course very demanding...
after the movie the next couple of hours changed my life completely and we went on the streets of india laughing and talking abt the invisible movie camera following us godness it was such soo fun..
and then followed by some main events like weddings..
weddings really fasinate me the expressions,excitement,happiness,beauty,glamour,food,clothes,decorations,people,
parents,dance,music,lights,cameras ooo god the list goes on and on...
but the main part is the bride and groom and their love..
its like a dream but in reality..
i wonder why people dont believe in fairytales they are real and yes they play a high impact in one's lives..
oh my my i just can feel the butterflies in my stomach i wanna go back to india and enjoy the lifestyle once again..
thanks to all my loved ones i had a great time..
miss u all aloooot...

ITS LIKE SOMETHING INCOMPLETE..

once again i am writing..

its been a while a little pause to my reflection and all this while i am been busy in some realli important task that i left imcomplete and all this while i tried fulfilling all i could but i believe as we do something we gotta be realli brave and goalistic..this makes the path to ur job more easier and honourable..

I believe life is incomplete without many things..

incomplete without goals,success,money,love,respect and without some values..

i have always thought that once in a while i should also make everything mine and thats my main aim now..

throughout this few months and years i am trying to follow my shadow and luck together with what destiny has in store for me and i am also tryin to prove myself in all the ways i can..

i have always heard that every step u take u have to pass through some hurdles and also break down but i guess till my allah has hold my hands tight i can face it..

i am like everyone walking in the same crowd breathing the same air but yet very different..

past few days i have come across many truths and many sorrows that i have heard and solved and also cried on..

the world is changing with different kinds of matters and problems..

sometimes i wonder that if i had the ability i would want to solve everything i knoe its a common thinking but mine is alittle to fixed..

i have seen alot in life although my journey has started as my friends say but still i think as time goes u see what u have to and learn what u have to so it can bee aloot or just to less..

i have learnt things which are very meaningful and are very hard to express in words or emotions.

i guess its time now to get going on what i have left and so what i actually feel is that something is still incomplete but i shall surely make it complete..

all the best to me and also have a nice day sidra~~

Imagination is the highest kite one can fly..

someone once said that imagination is something we believe in and can even make it into reality and frankly speaking i actually believe in it and i guess it has actually worked for me..
today was one of the days in my life when i actually felt amazing and satisfied.i was confused the whole morning and afternoon that how the sky and clouds were talking to me..
it may sound imaginery but seriously i thought that god has actually given me a task to complete and i am going to do it soon..
today i was writing my life on a piece of paper and from god knows where words were just flying around me and so i got to know the depth of them which has given many authors and poets their soul and power..
i always believe that happiness and power are one thing we need it..
it was fathers day yesterday and trust me this years father's day was the best..
this father's day bought me lots of emotions and made me realise on thing that a father is someone we are just nothing without and i guess everyone will agree with it..
one thing i have to say i love you aloot papa..
ur the best dad in the world..
may god bless u always..
i hope everyone had a great father's day as well..
its finally a tuesday morning and looking outside my window it seems like tomoro's morning will bring lots of changes in me..
lets hope for the best..

I am back

I have been writing my blog for very long and so i lost touch with it but now i am back again new and fresh..its been realli long since i last wrote my reflection and so i have kept lots inside my heart..
6 months of the year are completed and its sooo unbelievable..a few days ago i was talking to my friend and she told me about her o'levels knocking the door in 3 months..its realli a scary and tough moment but i wish her all the best yaar as she is the best!!god bless u ramoo
same here my mid-years also came and went and seriously i didnt knoe what was actually happening..
i have been asking myself many questions these few months about many things related to past,present and future and i saw myself empty..
i havent been able to figure out that its time for some serious planning and work..
although i have been very fixed about some issues and goals i still need some sort of motivation and i knoe that if god is listening he will make a path without stones and hassel for me..
its the rule of life that its hard to get a golden bed but i can always pray for one cause faith brings u all the luck in this worlf and i believe that Ingenuity lights the path to success..and trust me its true..
i always wonder that Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold..
the heart can hold things that even blood is unaware.we are humans not god but still i know that its god who can make u and its him who can destroy u..his wonders are been seen and admired..
my moral is to insipire me and those who are my loved ones cause its never too late to do a good deed if u can..
i hope that this summer will bring lots of luck and hope for me and to all my friends who are reading and who are out in the world..
god bless all of u and enjoy ur hols..