My God

My God,

Is my faith,

Is my worship,

Is my religion,

Is my love,

Is my friend,

Is my body,

Is my soul,

Is my heart,

Is my life,

Is my goal,

Is my aim,

Is my dream,

Is my path,

Is my promise,

Is my memories,

Is my passion,

Is my eyes,

Is my spark,

Is my mosque,

Is my temple,

Is my church,

Is my direction,

Is my connection,

Is my medicine,

Is my security,

Is my companion,

Is my happiness,

Is my sadness,

Is my isolation,

Is my gathering,

Is my everything,

Is my peace,

Is my harmony,

Is my fight,

Is my success,

Is my soil,

Is my sky,

Is my angel,

Is my defender,

Is my mother,

Is my father,

Is my sister,

Is my brother,

Is my world,

Is my universe,

Is my food,

Is my water,

Is my air,

Is my and only mine..

God is everything..

God is with me.

God is with us.

Relationships

Relationships,what are they?who are they?why are they made?for whom are they made?

are they forever?do they always remain yours?what is their existance?are they close?

are they far?who unites them?who destroys them?why break them?why love them?why care for them?is their need necessary?why hate them?who lives in them?why call them?is their closeness real?are they an anxiety?are they beautiful?are they perfect?why do we pray for them?why do we hold them?what are their qualities?what are their flaws?what is their role in our lives?how curious is our need for them?is it that important?

are we so dependable on them?do they know they are wanted?are they devils?are they angels?why do we get possesive about them?why do we sometimes want them dead?

All these questions are always roaming in our minds..

but the answers are a mystery,

for me and maybe for u too,

and this is when i call us and me humans..

this is the human mind..

never satisfied,

always wanting more and more..

sometimes material and sometimes answers..

so i ask u,WHAT ARE RELATIONSHIPS?

Dont know why

Dont know why,but as days pass i feel like i am getting so small,so small in the eyes of the mirror,so small in the eyes of god and everyone..
haha its like those times of ones lives when things are normal yet complex,
and then you want to make that complex things simple and straight and understand why life plays such games?am i suppose to be playing on with it?
or can i quit?of course i cant,if i dont play then why must i live?if i play then i must have the courage to also tell my soul that come on i will win some day and one day i will solve those puzzels that life gives me frequently,and i shall succeed,
as time goes by,as seasons take turns i try to absorb all those shivers and talks,
one thing i noticed,we never grow up,we are not suppose to be called adults,
we are children,small children,big ones and then the oldest children,
but we remain as children,
our love,respect,faith,need,wants and motives are always to want want and want,
we eat like children,dream like children and even work like them,
though one must be thinking that i am mature and sober,
but no thats just the anxiety within us to prove to others that we are old enough,big enough and tough enough to be alone and independent,
but i lack to understand,why must be prove?
cant be like children which we are and stay innocent and fragile and make us realise that we are not yet tough and big that we make our own decisions and prove it,cause who proves he's right is never sure of his intensity..

2010

Here i come again,
2010 is here my friends,
unbelievable how 2009 came and went,so fast like always but this time there was something else to my theory,i always say that time flies and so do we,
always doing new things flying from end of the city back to home from a daily routine,
2010 came and i was very happy to the fact that a new year means a new pattern,a new theme,many new news,many new events and many new people to meet,
my birthday is one event which i adore,it falls in the first month of the year,January..
this year i turned 17,a age making me go near to a new phase of life and responsiblities..
i call this age an age of thought and go..
why?
its an age where u need to think and then make a go or else one can be ready for ups and downs..
coming back to my topic,
2010 has started and what a start..
everywhere there is something new being planned,made and decided..
futures of countries,economies,societies and people are being made by everyone,
so i asked myself what role are these things playing on me?
am i prepared?
yes i am..
of course i am..
cause afterall its now that life has just began,taking a new turn and giving me hints and clues of what to say,do and think about..
i ask u,are u prepared too?

childhood

the fragrance in those letters i kept in those diaries under my cupboard so that no one could see my feelings and neither would anyone understand them,they were those feelings and dreams i wished for at my window on rainy days and dark blue nights,

my childhood is a big question and a non-stop trail,a journey,a big clock a whole lot of systems running in me,

my childhood is in those doll houses i made,in those puzzle books i matched,in those pebbles i collected and lost them the next day,in those playgrounds i played on early afternoon and got wet on slides when it rained,in those little little excitements which thrilled me each surprise moment,its in those mistakes i made and got scolded,its in those sleepless nights when i wished for someone to tell me a story for a lifetime,its in those delicious dishes my mother made and i licked it plain,its in those fights i had in which i cried and could not defend myself,its in those sunday mornings when i went grocery with my father with my little toy trolley,its in those homework i did,in those drawings i made,its in those clothes i wore and made them my life,its in those cushions i cudled while watching my favourite cartoon on cartoon network,its in those falls i had when i wounded myself and was sad for my body to have gotten hurt and for the blood which flew oozingingly,its in those hugs and kisses my grandmother and grandfather gave me when payed a visit,its in those bags which i bought with me to the shopping mall,its in those desires i had which never got fulfilled,its in those questions i asked and wondered all day,its in those games i played during the holidays and won alone and cheered for my scores,its in those trips to the zoo where i saw animals and wished to have fed them,its in those books i read and read and found a new story each time,its in those talks i had with god when everyone slept and prayed for a better morning and a more easy one,its in those hot baths i had early mornings,its in those swimming pools i played and wished to stay in water forever,its in those droppings on my clothes when i went to restaurant and didnt eat properly,its in those breaths i had when i was ill and felt happy being at home all day,its in everything..
my childhood is boat and its still waiting to sail..

visit to secrets

Secrets are one treasure-like sayings which make us either to conceal or too secretive.

they are roads to curiosity,u want to either know them or either keep them till the last day..

but they are very important in our minds and souls,

they somehow teach us the correct meaning of mistakes and deeds,

some teach us the patience of situations,

some teach us the change of view of someone or the other,

and some are there with us throughout,

sometimes we know the truth but we are bound to keep quite and not let it out,some truths are there just for destructions of unity and well-being..

each of us whether young or old have soo much hidden inside us,

little little secrets and the big big ones as well,

we realise that one day we have to let all out and if we have to then why do we keep them for such long durations?who are we hidding it from?

its a human mind afterall,cant argue with its temperments,

they are at times impossible and at times digestable..

secrets are like medicines,they can either cure u or either destroy u,

when we keep lots of things inside us we tend to bend to pain and insecurity,

these hidden treasures are not always as valuable as they seem to be,they arent so great that we have to give its hard glow on our lives,

we have to throw them into the sea and forget about them,cause some treasures are not ours,actually no ones..

She turns ten,my little princess..

She is now a big girl,
finally ten years old on the 8th of september,
what a journey so far,i still remember that little pink blossom in my arms sleeping peacefully..
and today a big girl she is,tall and beautiful forever..
time has changed,so strong and modest she has become with so much of confidence and knowledge and she is fearless of the coming up challenges,good job i think in my mind,
this is our youth,the one who will rise and bring us fruits of creativity and freshness..
she has kept me in the thought of her small little hands now becoming in shape and she a lady,
i miss those childhood days when i use to admire her all day long,her johnson baby lotion and her fragrant smell,my god what a child she was,
may god give her all the happiness in the world,with all the strength and power to make her duties right and always stay small and adorable,
i dont want her to grow up too fast..
love u my angel..